I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
