uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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