Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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