Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
