so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
