toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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