I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
