why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
