I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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