Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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