Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
