I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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