yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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