..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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