Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
