singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
