No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i drank out of a bidet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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