There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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