Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
