thus making me awesome and them whores
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
