I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
