don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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