this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
