Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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