Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
