Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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