He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
