Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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