i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
