Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize