Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
