pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
