I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
