So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want her autograph on my taint
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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