Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
