If i come over, it means nothing
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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