problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
