I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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