I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
