I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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