I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
