I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
