Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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