Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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