Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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