its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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