so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
