Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
