just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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