Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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