Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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