Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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