I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
