Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
